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Thursday, 15 March 2012


Good morning blogging friends.
So for the last two weeks ive been moaning about this utra sleepy syndrome ive been subject too and ive been inundated with web links to all sorts of crazy-clinical looking machines that might help me get the much needed zed's. But falling to sleep really isnt the issue here..
 I could fall to sleep on the freaking waltzers. Its the depth of my dreams that is so exhausting. I don't feel like im sleeping, I feel like im just living another life, that is so REAL, so FAST paced and for the most time quite SCARY, that when I do wake up, I feel like I need another 4 hours.
Ive been having nightmares about the same group of people (bullies) EVERY NIGHT since I was 14.
Its only of this last month that they have become SO punishing.
Its common knowledge that the ladies of my family all suffer the same thing,(obviously they have there own demons, there not all running from my high school acquaintances). The thing is, we've always just accepted it as a 'heridatory' thing, but just because you can give something a label doesn't mean its ok.

For the very first time today, I typed "exhausting deep dreams" into google, and this was the numero uno result.
Now if I am depressed, I am either unaware of it or not acknowledging it. I suffered terrible depression between 14 and 18. And I think your teen years are probably one of the worst times to get it. I mean above all the bodily changes, your still finding out who you are and what you want, so I think theres quite a high risk it can be embedded within you for life.

Now, around once a month, I have these days where I just cry very easily and I really don't know why. Maybe we could blame womanly cycles, maybe we could blame the fact I bottle so much up, to avoid confrontation. I really don't know, I just accept that in exchange for one teary day, I am blessed with 30 very happy ones.

But from what I read and believe on this site, is that spending too much time in 'dream sleep', that is so massively, emotionally arousing, is actually neglecting me off the physically-rejuvenating, 'slow wave' sleep that is much needed.
The worrying thing is the list of side effects its seams to implicate on the rest of my well being.

I would really appreciate if anybody from a medical or alternative therapy background could give me a wee bit of advice on this.

I just want my sleep back.
 I thought I was done with these girls as soon as I left school, not that I would be religiously convening with them every night in my 20's.
Now for something a little more light hearted.
Beautiful "Twisted Housewives" photography By the splendiferous Ashley Cameron
Yes I do love them.

And in a conveniently homemaker kind of way, Im off to prettify my house, for a very mature kind of couples-do-dinner, kind of evening with our friends from out of town.

Raphaella withlove x

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